LO: To edit and enliven a piece ofwork.

Instructions

You will have 20minutes to change this story into something more exciting.

You can:

     change thewords

     add bits

     include moredetail

at the end of your20 minutes you will swap your work with a friend and markeachothers.

You will do 3 starsand a wishremember to point out 3 really positive things and giveone target for future work.

Make sure you writethe date and LO in your book. Your sheet must be stuck in at theend of the session.

Enjoy!

Once there was a girl. The girl was calledSarah. She was 11

years old. She has brown hair and greeneyes. She liked singing.

She likes dancing. She likes having fun withher friends. One

day she went to her friends house. It was aSaturday. She went

in the afternoon. They danced to her friendsCDs. They

pretended they were singing at a concert.That day they made a

performance andshowed it to her friends family. They clapped.

Her little brotherdanced with them. They had a fun time. The

next day they showedtheir friends at school the dance. Then

they taught them howto do the dance. By lunchtime 5 girls all

knew thedance.